Only when the last tree has been cut down...

The Inuit are complaining to the US that pollution and global warming are destroying their land and way of life.

The U.S. is presently unavailable for comment, as they are far too busy building a 4 mile high neon sign that spells out "Bothered". The sign is powered by it's own coal burning power station which will be instated alongside the sign on the borders of Canada.

The sign is being constructed in Texas. It is made of top quality plastic, that is guaranteed not to decay within the next million years, long after ice at the North Pole is a thing of the past. Top scientists are also working round the clock to produce a truly dangerous cocktail of gases to provide the virulent colours for the signs lettering.

Once completed, the sign will be transported piece by piece by a fleet of SUVs. The trip up North is expected to take several weeks though, as the SUVs only get 12mpg and will thus have to stop for fuel roughly every 45 minutes.

President Bush has hailed the sign's construction as a boon to the flagging U.S. economy. He also said that it was "a great way to show them Kyoto faggots who's boss".

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Seriously now, what is it going to take for us to start using nuclear power? Breakthroughs in technology mean it is safer than ever, with much more easily disposed of waste. It provides enormous amounts of energy and it's really the only way we can sustain our present energy expenditure.

And yes, I note with some measure of sadness that on the day I choose to bitch about the lack of nuclear power use, that Sellafield should have a nuclear leak. Damnit.